Supporting Loved Ones with Eating Disorders During the Holidays: Tips for a Compassionate Season
The holiday season, with its focus on food and celebration, can be particularly challenging for individuals struggling with eating disorders. Here are some helpful suggestions to provide support and help make the season more manageable for them.
1. Maintain Routine and Schedule
The holidays can disrupt normal routines, which can increase anxiety for someone with an eating disorder. Help them keep their usual meal and snack schedule, and encourage regular activities that bring comfort such as a gentle walk, coloring, journaling or playing a card game. This consistency can provide a sense of stability in a chaotic season.
2. Encourage Regular Meals—Avoid Skipping
Skipping meals to “save room” for a large meal later is common during the holidays, but it can be stressful and counterproductive for someone with an eating disorder. Support them by encouraging consistent eating throughout the day, which can help manage hunger and fullness ques.
3. Create a Signal for Needing Space
Consider setting up a word, phrase, or even a hand signal that your loved one can use if they’re feeling overwhelmed. This discreet signal allows them to communicate their need for space or a break, helping them manage difficult moments in a respectful way.
4. Check If Meal Assistance is Helpful
For some people, having someone else plate their food can reduce anxiety about portioning and decision-making around food. Discuss this in advance to see if it’s something they find helpful, and if so, offer to support them in this way during holiday gatherings.
5. Shift the Focus Away from Food
Holiday gatherings often revolve around meals, but you can help by gently shifting the focus to other aspects of the celebration, such as family traditions, games, or meaningful conversations. This can reduce the pressure and anxiety surrounding food.
6. Respect Their Boundaries
Recognize that individuals with eating disorders may have boundaries around food or certain situations. Respecting these boundaries without question is a significant way to show support. Encourage them to let you know if something feels uncomfortable so adjustments can be made.
7. Avoid Food and Body Talk
Comments about food, weight, and body image can be especially triggering. Instead of discussing what everyone is eating or how people look, focus on more positive topics. Compliments that don’t relate to appearance are often more meaningful and affirming.
8. Check In Before and After Events
A simple text or call to check in before and after a holiday gathering can go a long way. Ask how they’re feeling beforehand and, after the event, let them know you’re there if they want to talk. This support reinforces their sense of safety and shows you’re attuned to their needs.
9. Encourage Self-Care
The stress of the season can be exhausting, so remind your loved one to prioritize self-care. Whether it’s taking breaks, practicing mindfulness, or setting aside time for activities that make them feel calm and grounded, self-care can be a valuable tool for navigating challenging moments.
10. Educate Yourself
Taking time to understand eating disorders can help you be a more supportive presence. Learning about common triggers, symptoms, and treatment options not only gives you empathy but also practical insight into what your loved one might be experiencing. Supporting someone with an eating disorder during the holidays takes patience, understanding, and care. Remember, you don’t have to be perfect—just being there for them with kindness and respect can make a world of difference.
By Kate Ferro, M.Ed., RD., LD.
Kate is a seasoned dietitian with a passion for helping clients achieve lasting wellness. She holds a bachelor’s degree in nutrition from Case Western Reserve University, where she competed as a track and field athlete, and a master’s in education with a focus on exercise science from Cleveland State University. Her early career included research at Cleveland Clinic’s Lerner Research Institute, where she co-authored several publications, and advanced training through Cleveland Clinic’s Dietetic Internship Program, specializing in malnutrition assessment. Since joining The Hull Institute, Kate has spent nearly a decade empowering clients with eating disorders through personalized nutrition care, with a special focus on supporting athletes, coordinating the Cleveland National Eating Disorders Association (NEDA) regional walk, and contributing to blog posts for the Institute. A dynamic educator, she blends evidence-based practice with compassion. Outside of work, Kate stays busy as a mom of three girls, diving deeper into Montessori education as her children thrive in that environment, and growing in her faith. She enjoys competing in triathlons, experiments with gardening and homesteading, loves reading, and cherishes time connecting with family and friends out of state.